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Reality Check: Life Has Lessons, part 1
Ecclesiastes 7:1-14
Alright, please take out your Bibles now and turn in them to the Book of Ecclesiastes. and chapter number 7.
You know the Book of Ecclesiastes, we have seen as we have been studying through it, is a great book for our secular generation, our secular culture. We have seen that it is a divine warning against attempting to live a life of fulfillment apart from God.
Sometimes I think, we can keep thinking about how the world needs to hear this…the world needs to hear this! But we know this book was actually written for the people of God…and especially, I think, for young people. It has a lot to teach people who are in the midlife era also.
We have seen that this is a confessional autobiography of a man who knew God; a man who drifted from God; a man who lived most of his life seeking fulfillment apart from God. But who upon reflection said: don’t come this way. There are many people who wish they had heard this message earlier in their life.
Chuck Swindoll relates a story of one such man. He says, “I remember a special phone call I received a few years ago. It made me cry. ‘Hello, Charlie’ came the husky voice which had been so familiar to me back a number of years ago. ‘I just wanted you to know that I have come back home.’ Dumbfounded, all I could do was utter his name and ask, where have you been? And then to say how much I had missed you! The tears flowed as we visited for almost an hour. As he unveiled the account of his 15-year downward spiral, my mind flashed back to a handsome young high-schooler who had become acquainted with Cynthia and me. What a bright, teachable, humble guy he was. And his hunger for spiritual truth seemed insatiable. My wife and I agreed that we had never met anyone with more promise or greater potential.”
“By the time he was out of high school, he was convinced that the ministry was his ultimate destination, which only increased our interest in his training and further education. Academically capable, he really had his choice of where he preferred to study. And since he was so gifted in languages it led him to complete his undergraduate studies abroad. That’s when things began to change.”
“The lack of regular contact and accountability with Christians who could have supported and stabilized him during those formative, tender years took its toll. He was surrounded by a lifestyle that was much more loose. His studies took him into philosophical realms that he wasn’t able to handle on his own with sufficient objectivity. His roots in the church were virtually severed. There was no consistent biblical intake.”
“A romance with a young woman of another culture and with interests much different for his own blossomed and resulted in marriage. All this and more caused the young man’s simple faith and humble spirit to erode. He became cynical. He took up habits to prove to others that he was “free.” His marriage weakened. Profanity replaced praise. A hard-glazed stare drilled its way through you from eyes that once revealed sensitivity and compassion.”
“His education turned the comer and he opened himself up to an entirely different theological perspective. He found himself despising his evangelical roots. By and by, he went to Europe to work on his doctorate, studying under one of the most prominent scholars in the field of archaeology. Years passed. The marriage ended in divorce. He earned a graduate degree and involved himself in further research, teaching—all the things he thought he wanted. But he was empty…horribly, desperately, tragically empty. He drank heavily. He became a chain smoker. Days ran into weeks and meaningless months.”
“Picture the scene. Sitting in a lonely, dark apartment halfway around the world was a brilliant man in his thirties, holding some of the most enviable academic credentials one could image, seriously now considering suicide. I do not know anyone who better epitomizes Solomon in the midst of his miserable journey. My long-lost friend could have posed for the portrait Solomon paints in his journal. Through our telephone conversation, my friend verbally walked through his long journey back, periodically pausing and attempting to describe the emptiness of the futility that he felt.”
Swindoll said, “I will never forget one of his remarks. ‘You remember telling me, Chuck, that I would not find God in a seminary?’ Yes, I remember. ‘Well, you were right. There’s nothing to be found simply in the academic truths of theology. If the heart isn’t right, theology won’t help.’ “Yeah, that’s exactly what I was getting at. He added, ‘Well, I’ve got another statement that you can pass along—you won’t find wisdom in the halls of intellectualism.’ After all that he had been through—after a decade and a half of running, fighting, struggling, wrestling, arguing, and, yes, absorbing everything the horizontal humanistic plane had to offer—the man had returned to his senses. And wisdom came out hiding. He was older, but so much wiser.”
You know part of the purpose of this book is to instruct us so that we might avoid the dead ends of life; so that we might avoid the blind alleys of life. Solomon invested his time and his energy in this book so that we would not live a life that was empty and hollow. In fact, when we come to chapter 7 in Ecclesiastes, he is beginning to turn the comer. Solomon has really been sharing a lot of his own struggle in the first 6 chapters, but he starts to shift now, and he starts to share more wisdom; and he starts to give guidance to us.
I have entitled the message today, “Reality Check: Life has Lessons.” And we see that in the first 14 verses of chapter 7. It is interesting to me that the man who collected and wrote thousands of wise sayings, for the very first time, begins to share some proverbs. In fact, our outline is basically two-fold today. First of all, he’s going to share Some Proverbs about Life in verses 1-8. And then secondly, he is going to share Some Advice on Life in verses 9-14. So, he is going to talk about proverbs about life in the first 8 verses; and then he’s going to share some advice on life in verses 9-14. And we want to learn from him.
But I want us to just bow for a second and let’s just pray: God, I would pray that each one of us would have open hearts this morning to learn what You want to teach us. And we ask that the Holy Spirit to do the teaching. Amen.
Let’s begin by looking at Some Proverbs about Life. Now to many of us, the whole idea of a proverb is an out-of-date concept. And yet, proverbs are all around of us. We tend to think of proverbs as an old-time thing, but they are all around us. We communicate them all the time in our culture. We say things like: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. That’s a proverb. It is designed to teach us a truism about life. That proverb basically means that you can’t force people to do even what might be beneficial to them. Proverbs are all around us.
I want to share with you several of them that I came across. In our culture, for example, this one: ‘None preaches better than the ant and he says nothing.’ What does that mean ultimately? What is that proverb teaching? It communicates that example is the master teacher. See, the ant works hard, but he never says anything. So, he ‘preaches’ more effectively than anyone else.
Here is another proverb in our culture, I like this one. ‘He who lies with dogs, comes up with fleas.’ Was that just talking about lying down with your Schnauzer dog and getting a flea on you? No! That is basically saying that the people that you hang around with will rub off on you. They will affect you.
Here is another one. I like this one too. ‘Better bowlegs than no legs.’ What does that one mean? Well, really the message behind that proverb is that perspective is everything. See, it is better to be bow-legged, and go with the embarrassment of that, than to be no legged. Perspective is everything.
A lot of proverbs are comparison proverbs. That’s what ‘better bowlegs than no legs’ is. And that’s exactly the kind of proverb Solomon talks about in chapter 7.
In fact, in these first 8 verses of chapter 7, he uses the word “better” seven times: 2 times in verse 1, also in verse 2, verse 3 and verse 5; and two times in verse 8. So, he’s going to start off sharing Some Proverbs about Life. Proverbs are truisms about life.
We don’t have time to go into this in depth, but I do want to hit some highlights. Now, remember he is wanting us to learn about life. Now, notice what he says in verse 1. He says, “A good name is better than a good ointment.” Now, when he uses “name” he is really referring to character and reputation. Good character, a good reputation, is better than a good ointment. Now, he not saying that it is better than triple anti-biotic cream. That’s not the idea. If you have a NIV Bible, it says ‘a good name is better than fine perfume.’ The NLT says, ‘better than costly perfume.’ See in that day they would use ointment or oils as perfume or cologne. And the idea he’s communicating is, when you’re looking at your life, character is more important and better than some cosmetic cover-up that you may come up with. It’s better than some scent that you may spray on. It’s better than some clothes that you may don, even if they’re name brand. It’ s better than some car that you may drive. It is better than any vocation accomplishment that you might be able to accomplish. A good name, or character, is better than good ointment!
It is interesting right now—this very week—we had in the news two college coaches; Coaches Eustachy from Iowa State, and Coach Price from Alabama…two men who lost touch with this proverb about life. One has already officially been fired from his job, and one who has been recommended to be fired, both for reflecting negatively on their university: drinking excessively, and other inappropriate behavior, including in a strip club; especially for someone 57-years-old and 47-years-old. You know, it’s been a week of ‘coaches gone wild, hasn’t it? It’s interesting.
Solomon says, we need to understand a good name is better than some cosmetic cover-up or superficial behavior. Nothing can ever cover the stench of a reputation gone wild.
Notice he goes on to say in verse 1, he says, “The day of one’s’ death is better than the day of one’s’ birth.” When you read that, you go, What’s with that? What’s the deal there? Well, think about it. On the day of your birth there’s pain, there’s stress, there are mistakes, there’s heartache ahead in your life. The day that you are born there is pain to come; there is stress to come; there are mistakes to come; and there is heartache to come because you are born into a sinful world.
But on the day of your death, it is different. There is NO pain to come; there is no stress to come if you are a believer in Jesus Christ. There are no more mistakes to come; there’s no heartache to come because you are entering into a perfect world; a world of joy. And as Paul said in Philippians 1:23 “To depart and be with Christ is very much better.” So, the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth.
See what’s common for us, we fall into this worldly thinking that death is the worst thing that could ever happen to us. For an unbeliever that is true. But for a believer, nothing could be further from the truth. Notice he goes on to say in verse 2, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting. Because that is the end of every man and the living takes it to heart.” In other words, it’s better, he says—if I could put it this way—to visit a funeral home for a funeral service than to stuff your face in an all-you-eat buffet. That’s really what he said. Or put it another way, you can learn more from walking in the graveyard than you can walking through a carnival.
Why would that be? Because that is where we are all headed. And you know what I think, as human beings we spend a lot of our time trying to ignore the fact of death. But that is where we are all headed. In fact, you know, as a believer in Jesus Christ, our last enemy hasn’t been functionally done away with yet. In first Corinthians 15:26 it says that the last enemy of the believer is physical death. And that’s coming. And there is no reason to deny it or no reason to pretend anything about it.
He says (verse 2) that is the end of every man. Notice the living—that would be you and me, everybody gathered together here today, takes it to heart, takes it into account. Isn’t it interesting, I don’t know, some of you are younger, maybe you haven’t even been to funeral services yet. But many of us who are older have been to multiple ones and it is amazing how you go to that funeral service and there is just a renewed sense of what’s important when you come out of there. I don’t know how many times I have walked out into the parking lot, and gotten into my car, and I am thinking, you know, everything looks different than when I went in there. Suddenly, the insignificant—really insignificant—things of life are clearly now insignificant to you.
A lot of what bothers us, a lot of the conflicts that we have, a lot of the things that we do with our time, suddenly just seem to be so stupid. And the importance of relationships—oh that looms large. It is just amazing how different things look when you drive home after a funeral.
Notice he says in verse 3, he says, “Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy.” And you know, you begin to read that and you go, this getting to be just a little bit weird and dark here. We have to understand that Solomon is not saying “Hey, don’t ever have any fun.” He’s not saying that. He is the same one who wrote in Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine.” It is good to have a joyful heart. But what he is really saying, I believe here, is that, Hey, you know what, you need to know this about life. You learn more as you develop through adversity. The New Living translation says, “Sadness has a refining influence on us.” You know, when we receive heartache in our life, you know what it will do? It will help straighten out your thinking just a little bit. When we go through difficulty in our life, it can help us develop our character.
Keep your finger in Ecclesiastes 7 and turn with me very quickly in the New Testament to the book of 1st Peter, hiding behind the book of James. 1st Peter chapter 1. Peter is writing to a group of believers who are going through a lot of difficulty and he says in 1st Peter, chapter 1 and verse 6, he says “In these difficulties, you greatly rejoice even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials. Notice…that the proof of your faith coming out of these trials is more precious than gold, which is perishable even though tested by fire, it may be found to result in praise and glory and honor, the revelation of Christ Jesus.”
He’s saying, You know what? A lot of times you can learn more from difficulty and adversity. What is our tendency? When it’s coming our way, we want to run in the opposite direction, don’t we? We want to take off running the opposite direction. And what Solomon is saying here, I believe, is don’t run from it. Bow before it. Because God will use our trials to reshape us. You know, part of what he wants to do is reshape Bruce Hess to be more like Jesus Christ. So, he will bring trial into my life.
Another reason why he brings trials is not just to reshape us, but also to remind us of things. That we can’t do this on our own. You know, it’s when we face the difficulty, that’s when we start praying more because I can’t handle this by myself.
God not only uses trials to reshape us, and to remind us of things, but he can also use trials to deepen our sensitivity. Have you ever noticed how that works?
You know Paul Newman, that famous actor who created the Scott Newman Center for Drug Abuse. Now, why did he do that? Because his 28-year-old son, Scott, died of a drug overdose. Paul went through adversity and it sensitized him. Now he has developed, under that Scott Newman Foundation, the Rowdy Ridge Gang Camp. It has been going for 10 years. It is for families involved with drug abuse.
See, sometimes when God brings adversity, good things come out of it in terms of our growth and our sensitivity. And that is why he says: when a face is sad, a heart may be happy…because God is transacting some spiritual business.
Notice in verse 4, we will continue quickly through here, it says “The mind of the wise is in a house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in a house of pleasure. The mind of the wise is always thinking about how short life is. The mind of the fools is always in the house of pleasure. The mind of the fool is just thinking about the ‘club scene.’ The mind of the fools is thinking about the bar scene. The mind of the wise is remembering there are funerals every day.
Verse 5 says “It is better to listen to the rebuke.” It’s saying, it is better to listen about life from a wise man than for one to listen to the song of fools. For as the crackling of thorn bushes under a pot, so is the laugher of the fool.” In other words, it is all about who you are going to listen to. It is all who you are going to choose to heed in your life.
A fool might sing you a song of praise. Just telling you about how great everything is going in your life and that you are doing everything the right way. And the laughter of fools, he says, is like the crackling of thorn bushes. It is like the idea that you get a bunch of dry thorns and if you would light them, they would crackle and pop. They would make a lot of sound, but they would bum quickly. They would flare out quickly, and there would be little benefit or little lasting warmth that would come your way. You are getting impute the crowd that doesn’t even know what they are talking about. What good is that? It may make some noise, but it really doesn’t deliver anything of value.
He says, “Better is the rebuke of a wise man.” Now you’ll notice when he says, “Better is the rebuke of a wise man,” that he doesn’t say it’s easy to receive is the rebuke of a wise man. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to be both on the receiving end and the giving end of rebuking people…you know, correcting somebody? It’s hard to be on the sending end of that, at least it is for me. If I know I have to go talk to somebody, there is some anxiety that I feel about it. There is some dread I feel about that. And if I know I need to go sit down with them and confront them about some issue, there is a fear of how they are going to respond back to me. We don’t really know how they are going to respond.
I find it hard to be on the sending end of a rebuke and boy, it is certainly hard to be on the receiving end, isn’t it? You know when someone says, we need to talk. Just those words, you know, whoa! And we have this tendency to be defensive, or maybe to be in denial. But what Solomon says is: Wait a minute, that is a good thing to come your way. It brings benefit in your life.
You might jot down here, in Proverbs 10:17 it says, “He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, but he who forsakes reproof goes astray.” Do you really believe what it says there? Because Solomon says it is true. It is better to listen to the rebuke of a wise man. Are you listening? Are you in a receiving mind set when your parents step over and say: I’ve got to warn you about some of the choices you are making in your life? Are you listening?
Or how about when your boss comes to you on your job and says: We need to sit down because there are some things that you need to do more effectively. Are we listening? Are we learning? Or when your friend comes to you and says: I’ve been watching what you have been doing in your life and I think that you have been drifting in your relationship with God. And I want to help bring you back. See, how do we respond? Do we believe that it is better to listen to the rebuke of a wise man?
Let your eyes drop down to verse 8. Notice it says, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning.” The end of a matter is better than its beginning. The end of a matter is more important than the beginning of a matter—what’s that talking about?
Well, what he is really saying, I believe, is that a great beginning is OK. It’s OK to have a great beginning, but a great ending is much more important. And I have watched that happen over the years in the church of Jesus Christ. I’ve seen a lot of great beginnings out of people, but a great ending is far more important.
I’ve seen that at weddings. A great beginning is good, but the ending is more important. Think about it at a wedding, I mean, all of them start with all of this pomp and all these promises. Then reality comes in when you have everyday pressures; and you have difficulties; and you have kids. You have adversities and you have kids! You know what I’m talking about. And then you have selfishness bubbling up to the surface. What he is saying is it is better—it is OK to have beginning—but it is better to hang in there. It is better to have stick-to-it-ness through all that stuff. It’s better to fight through all life.
You know what is interesting to think about, is that you can overcome a bad beginning, but you cannot change a bad ending. You can overcome a bad beginning, but you cannot change a bad ending.
He says in verse 8 “Patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit.” The NIV says, “Patience is better than pride.” Pride pushes aside wisdom and counsel. Patience wants to listen. Sometimes, you know, pride even gets after God. God, look at what you are doing in my life; what you have allowed to happen in my life. I don’t deserve this, God! That’s unfair! That’s really pride speaking. Patience wants to listen. Patience wants to ask, God, what do you want me to learn through what you are taking me through?
Those are Some Proverbs about Life. We do want to take a few minutes though and look at the next couple of verses on Some Advice on Life. Some advice on life. Now Solomon gets more direct, not using a proverb.
Verse 9, he says “Do not be eager in your heart to be angry.” This is advice from him to us, inspired by the Spirit of God. Don’t be eager to be angry. Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. What does James say in chapter 1? ”Be slow to anger.” Just back off a little bit on the anger thing.
And then, you know in verse 10; I love this one. This one is really, really good. Some advice on life, “Do not say, why is it that former days were better than these? For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this.” You could just write over that verse the advice: don’t live in the past. Now, that is less of a temptation for someone who is young, and more of a temptation for someone who is older.
You know there was a dear lady from many years at Wildwood, and I just remember how frequently she would really lament about life now. She would say, it was so fun in our early years of marriage. You know, we used to do this, and we used to do that. And she would always talk about the great ministry that they had years ago, in another church, in their former church. And she would talk about this repetitively. She was playing the comparison game. She was so focused on the past that the present left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Basically, what he is saying is don’t live in the past. You know, there are two problems with ‘the good old days’? Two problems with ‘the good old days.’ Problem number one is the selective memory principle. You know what that means? That means we tend to only remember the good stuff that happened back then. That’s the one problem with the good old days. The second problem with the good old days is that they’re gone! Ok! They’re gone! And, we all know you don’t want to lose them.
We are going to go through this a little bit more before we close. But some of you might be thinking: all right, this has gone on long enough. I feel like I’ve experienced a mini avalanche of these proverbs about life, his advice on life. Some of you may be thinking, why should I even listen to this stuff?? Some of you may be wondering, why shouldn’t I just run wild in my life?? Why shouldn’t I just start pursuing my passion and desires? Why shouldn’t I just ‘let it all hang out’??
Well, the answer to that is in verse 12. He says “For wisdom is protection, just as money is protection. And the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors.” He’s saying, if you will listen to what I say, wisdom will protect you in life. For many years, I have always said that every negative from God is a positive. Every time God says don’t do something; that’s not God being negative, that’s God being positive. Because he wants to protect us from things.
Proverbs 3:18. Speaking of wisdom, “she is a tree of life. Those who lay hold of her will blessed.” Wisdom will protect us. Wisdom will preserve us. It will help us to avoid fruitless paths that dead-end in life.
Now, Solomon is going to wrap this all up with some stellar, stellar advice about life. Notice verse 13. He says, “Consider the work of God; for who is able to straighten what he has bent.” Beside that verse you could just simply write this: remember who’s in charge. The New Living Translation says “Notice the way God does things; then fall into line. Don’t fight the ways of God for who could straighten out what he has made crooked.”
Do you know what wisdom will do for you if you follow it? It will lead you to divine perspective. The truth of the matter is, men and women and young people, is that God is in charge and we are not. Psalm 115:3. “God is in the heavens and he does whatever he pleases.” The problem that you and I have to remember is who is in charge! We have got to allow God to have his way.
How does that work out? Well verse 14, he says “In the day of prosperity, be happy.” Or the NIV says, “When times are good, be happy.” Rejoice in the good times. God brings them into our life. When life is going great, enjoy it! Don’t allow false guilt to rob you from being able to enjoy things. Enjoy when times are good. And rejoice in them.
But then notice in verse 14, he goes on to say, “But in the day of adversity, consider God has made the one as well as the other.” See, it seems easy for us to see that the good times are from God. Well yeah, sure, the good times are from God. But also, when difficult times come, we need to remember that God in them as well. He was every bit as much on the throne, in charge, when he allowed adversity into my life…and when he does that in your life.
See adversity—Solomon is saying here—is not an arbitrary thing. We need to rejoice in the good times, and we need to reflect in the difficult times. See, God’s aim is to work in us in such a way that He might work through us. That is his plan. And I’m convinced that we tend to have the short view of things. We tend to have the view of what is convenient and comfortable. I want what is convenient and comfortable in my life. Right? Isn’t that what we tend to think? And God has the long view. His view is: I want you to be like my son, Jesus Christ.
So, what we need to do is, when we have difficulty and adversity is our life we need to say, we need to reflect and say, “You’re God. You are good. You are powerful. I’m going to trust you. I don’t like what is coming in my life; but by faith I’m going to accept it from your hand.
I like what Warren Wiersbe said. He said this “God balances our lives by giving us enough blessings to keep us happy and enough burdens to keep us humble.” Solomon has some wisdom he wants to share. The question is what are we going to do with it?
As we close and we think about some Life Lessons, I’m simply just going to ask some questions this morning. The first question is this. How is your character? How is your reputation? Right now. Are you taking care of what’s most important? Your character and your reputation.
Second question. Between you and the Lord, are you open to a rebuke from someone who is wiser than you? Is your heart open enough to hear that? Solomon says that is important.
Question number three relates to the young man’s story who ended up bewildered in his 30s in the opening story this morning. He had a bad beginning, but he had a good end. Could it be possible that right now you are walking down a blind alley? Could it be possible right now that God would be saying to you within your heart “Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to turn around. Don’t go that way. Don’t go that way!
Then the last question I have this morning would be, could it be that in your life today is the day of adversity? Some of you have come in with some heavy burdens in your life. And God wants you to reflect on that. Maybe his desire is to reshape you to be more like his son. Maybe his desire is to remind you of how much you need him. Maybe he wants to simply deepen your sensitivity, because he has ministry in mind for you.
If you are going through adversity right now, I want you to remember the words of an old hymn. It says this “Day by day and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment, I have no cause for worry or for fear.”
Let’s pray together: Father we just really want to thank you so much again for a Living Book that cries out to us, to protect us from bad choices. May we be men and women who heed what it says. And for those who are finding themselves burdened with adversity, we pray for them. That they might turn to you and trust in you, and rest in you. And see you as sovereign…and reflect on what you want them to learn in the middle of that. We will give you the praise. In Jesus name. Amen.